“Babe…we’ve spent the whole day together…why are you so frustrated about this?”

It was another argument…one we’ve had a thousand times and yet never get resolved.

“We didn’t spend time together…we played on our phones in the same room…watched some TV in the same room and then you asked me to make dinner but we barely even talked to one another!”

I didn’t want to have this argument again, “Ok, so what do you want to talk about?”

A sheepish grin made its way across her face, “I don’t know.”

She began giggling knowing what my next response would be. “Lisa! If you don’t know what you want to talk about…than why are we arguing about this?”

Her smile quickly disappeared and was replaced by my kryptonite…a quivering lip. “I just…miss you,” a tear trickled down her cheek. Here before me was my wife looking for my attention, my undivided attention because she actually enjoys being with me. If you think I felt small in that moment…then you’d be right, I did…and to be honest…I deserved to.

There are moments in all of our lives where the people who are the closest to us are the people that we treat the worst, where we become so used to their impact on our life that we become blind to their acts of service…or their kind words. In some ways, these people become ghosts…people we see straight through, only noticing them when something goes wrong, or when we need something. When this happens, we cease to see people as people. In our minds, people become objects set to a purpose, not unlike a refrigerator or a microwave. We move from thankfulness to entitlement, becoming angry when the “object” fails to do what they have always done out of love.

When a person first comes into our lives, we become fixated upon them…our every thought circles on spending time with them and in the intrigue of mystery and discovery. We talk about them constantly, always finding a way to bring them up in conversation to the annoyance of everyone who already knows us. We become like a child who gets a new toy and doesn’t put it down…for any reason. But over time we lose interest and the toy is put down…sometimes never to be picked up again.

As a theologian and Bible teacher, one of the questions that I get most consistently is how a man or woman can keep their relationship with God from going stagnant. Some think study or fellowship or worship…or any number of different things are needed. Now these things can help, but they aren’t going to fix anything. At some point, our thoughts about God shifted. God ceased to be a living, breathing person and became an object with a job to do—a commodity.

If God feels far off it isn’t because he’s walked away from you. It is because you have walked away from Him. Begin walking back in His direction through time spent in His presence with prayer, devotion, and meditation on who God reveals himself to be within His word (Ps. 1:2). The only thing that can revitalize your relationship with Him is in recognizing that He is a real person who is deserving of your time and your effort, just like my wife is deserving of mine. Peace and blessings, and thank you for reading.

With Christ’s Love

Justin (AKA The Nerdy Theologian)

Published by Justin Eimers

Justin began his faith walk earnestly at the age of 14 after attending a youth conference. From that day forward, Justin’s life changed dramatically. Every previously conceived plan or idea about what he wanted to do with his life was jettisoned, and he began to seriously study the Bible. Ever since he came to faith, he has been obsessed with knowing the truth of God’s word and learning how it applies to real everyday people. He also enjoys the occasional moments where he gets to preach and teach and also serves in his local church’s worship band. Justin is married to his wife of 12 years, Lisa, and is the proud father of two boys Elias and Adaiah. He enjoys sharing his passions with his boys, reading comic books, playing video games, and occasionally nerding out with friends (there is a reason this website is called The Nerdy Theologian). Justin is also working towards a Ph.D. in Bible Exposition, having already attained an MA in Theological Studies and BS in Biblical Studies. View all posts by Justin Eimers